Finding My Path: A Journey of Faith and Family

Growing up, I was surrounded by a family that valued and preached about God. While my parents didn't actively practice, my extended family and grandparents instilled in me the basic foundations of faith. Like many young children, I was figuring out what I truly believed and how that made me feel. I understood the basic concepts and some biblical scriptures, but I was still exploring.

I remember when I was in Grade 1, and I was the only child in school who hated dinosaurs, but not because I enjoyed dolls more, but because dinosaurs didn’t make sense to me. If Noah built the ark, and carried all of the animals, where were the dinosaurs? If God created the earth, where does it talk about dinosaurs? According to Genesis, if God created plants, birds, fish, mammals and reptiles including man on day 6, the details between science and bible, do not align. So, do I believe science or the bible?

As I grew into my teens and adulthood, I realized that becoming an active member of any church wasn't for me. Attending church and practicing the same faith as my family felt intense. I felt I wouldn't be accepted for who I truly was, and I feared being judged for my mistakes. I wanted to figure out life in a healthy and respectful manner, without feeling pressured to conform to a certain standard. So, I watched from the sidelines as my family evolved and grew within their faith, while I connected with my own spirituality. I often felt like the "problem child" in the family, marching to the beat of my own drum, breaking the rules in my own way, which sometimes led to feelings of shame and judgment.

It wasn't until I got married and started my own family that I felt the desire to explore going to church again. My husband and I wanted to attend a church where we felt accepted, loved, and where they practiced the same ideas and thoughts we held at home. We believe in God, love, kindness, and respect for all, regardless of background and ethnicity. If you show kindness without judgment and love without hate, you're welcomed in our world.

I'm not saying my family doesn't believe the same beliefs as I do. What I'm saying is that sometimes our passions and beliefs are not equally aligned. After many years of trying to figure this out for myself, without the pressures from my family's beliefs, I learned to believe in myself and what feels right for me and my family.

Following my own faith and spiritual journey has not only connected me more to my family but has also allowed me to grow stronger with them as we now share something more in common. We may not always see eye to eye, but our love and respect for each other remain unwavering.

In the book of Romans 12:2, it says, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." This verse resonates with me deeply, as it reminds me to stay true to myself and my beliefs, even if it means taking a different path from those around me.

I may have felt like the "black sheep" at times, but I've come to realize that it's okay to forge my own path and follow my own journey of faith. And in doing so, I've found a deeper connection to my family and a stronger sense of self.

I had to love myself and believe in myself first, before I could pave my own path with God.